Your time is precious to us. We appreciate your attention to our survey, which will assist us in achieving our goals with no significant advantage to you.
1. Which of the following best describes your interest in completing this survey:
a. Total disinterest
b. Sharply felt irritation
c. Murderous rage
2. Which of the following best describes the most successful method we used to contact you during the pre-election period:
a. Phoning you at home
b. Phoning you at work
c. Knocking at your door at home
d. Knocking at your car door while paused in traffic
e. Stalking you through select local merchant establishments
3. In person or over the phone, which of the following best describes your ability to maintain generally accepted good manners during pre-election contact interactions:
a. Desperate tenacity
4. When we conduct our post-election retrospective contact, how do you expect you will respond (select all that apply):
a. With reinforced electoral apathy
b. In conformity with standard PTSD symptomology
c. With deadly force.
Thank you for your assistance; we value your responses, as a measure of which we promise to protect our access to your contact information and responses to the full extent of the law, not excluding possible use during legal proceedings following any incidence of overt action by you against any of our agents, regardless of date, time, location or manner of contact, some legal protective orders notwithstanding.
“Super Voter” hiding behind the sofa.