Bill O’Reilly Mansplains Alaska to the Boston Herald

[Republished on Huffington Post]

Apparently, Fox News host Bill O’Reilly came up to Alaska last week. He liked it so much that he wrote about us, penning an editorial in the Boston Herald that repurposed Alaska as his own personal, intellectually monosyllabic prop to explain the definition of “Real America” that he made up.

Titling the piece “Alaska home to free thinkers,” he then dedicated 500 words to explaining how we all universally think one way, presumably from behind a mustache and quite possibly with a presumptive eagle on our shoulders..

Up here, many folks don’t much like President Obama’s vision of a big government colossus dictating health care, doling out entitlements and generally meddling in the affairs of the citizenry.

Up here, we also don’t much like people using us to strengthen their own narrative they made up inside their head (especially when it reads like a 5th grade book report).

Mr. O’Reilly didn’t appear to look into health care in Alaska. In 2010, the Institute of Social and Economic Research at the University of Alaska Anchorage (ISER) noted that health care came with the price tag of $7.5 billion – “roughly equal to half the wages Alaskans collected” the same year. The study projected this figure could double by 2020. Of the well-over $2.2 billion in funding for federal programs, the largest cost is Medicaid, constituting 18% of all health care spending. Medicare is close behind, followed by Indian Health Services, the Veterans Affairs Healthcare System, Denali Kid Care and other Community Health Centers..

“Mention Obamacare,” O’Reilly quips, “and you’ll likely get icy stares, even in the summer.”

A climate pun! We never hear those!

Honestly, “Obamacare” doesn’t generally come up at all. Whether it’s at Providence hospital in Anchorage or a town hall in rural, you’re much more likely to hear concerns about Medicare reimbursement rates. Those are not typically discussions demanding less federal funding.

We feel the high cost of living when it comes to medical care. A day in the hospital costs 50 percent more in Alaska, on average, than the lower forty eight. Costs for common procedures are 35 percent higher. But O’Reilly asserts that Joe Alaska – his mythical approximation of all 731,449 of us – shrugs this off with a tug of the bootstraps and a healthy paycheck.

After all, we have jobs!

The Fox News pundit boasts that our median household income is $16,000 higher than the national average, which is a bouquet of worthless numbers that, in no way, takes into account the regional paucity of jobs in all corners of a state large enough to house 62 Massachusetts.

The economic realities of the hundreds of small towns and villages populate every corner of Alaska are not easily reduced to “show up get a living wage.” There is no Sheraton in Sand Point, and no Arby’s in Nondalton (which has an annual median household income $3,400 below the poverty line).

Something tells me O’Reilly didn’t stray too far outside city limits, save for secluded lodge stays, a boat ride, or a couple plane tours. Which is too bad. If he wanted to look at the most “tough, self-reliant” characters in Alaska, who elicit the “spirit of rugged individualism” he seems so taken with, those are places and people you should meet.

But that would muck up the all-American (circa nineteen-fifty-never) Joe Alaska caricature that O’Reilly wished to dangle in front of a Bostonian readership.

“This is an old-fashioned place that still embraces the Klon-dike mentality: Take chances, and maybe you’ll hit it big. But if you don’t, don’t whine about it.”

(I think he made up a hyphen there.)

“This is America the way it used to be. And the way things are going in the Lower 48, the way it used to be is likely gone forever.”

Noooooo!

And the kicker: “[W]hile poor people do receive entitlements, and the oil industry kicks in some money for the folks, few Alaskans are asking for handouts.”

Our economy is often described as a three-legged stool. The job opportunities that O’Reilly heralded are generated, fairly evenly, by the federal government, the oil industry, and everything else.

The oil and gas industry funds state government (we don’t have a state sales or income tax). And every year, Alaskans get a share of those oil revenues in the form of a dividend check from the state. It’s a pretty sweet deal.

We’re an owner state. We believe that resources should be developed for the maximum benefit of all Alaskans.

Somehow, I doubt the looks of the Best Buy parking lot on the day PFD checks come out would fit neatly into O’Reilly’s character profile of Joe Alaska.

But he likely doesn’t vacation here in October and I doubt he gave it that much thought. He certainly didn’t afford the rest of the article that courtesy.

Most everybody has a gun — there are big bears around — and the majority of folks are happy not to be dealing with bureaucracies.

Guns? Check. Bears? Around. Happy not dealing with bureaucracies?

Did you even get out of the plane?

Alaska is a young state struggling to build infrastructure from a starting point which Boston hasn’t seen since the eighteenth century. Disagree? Take a drive to our state capital and tell me where you end up. We’re trying to catch up with America, and we’re doing it while facing twenty-first century challenges.

You don’t kill a bear with your gun and get a new university. You don’t hate the government so hard it builds a highway. You do that stuff by working together. You do that through bureaucracies, like Denali Kid Care, Indian Health Services, the Veterans Affairs Healthcare System, the Alaska Native Claims Settlement Act, the Alaska National Interest Lands Conservation Act, dozens of state departments, hundreds of community councils, hundreds more tribal councils – we’re barely skimming the surface.

Bill O’Reilly’s Joe Alaska is a straw man for a bad argument against republican government. The poor idol, created to represent a Hobbesian nature-state survivalist with an Ayn Rand guidebook and a cowboy hat, is offensive. When you try to reduce a citizenry as diverse as Alaska down to a hometown editorial-by-numbers (Alaska in 500 words!) you just look bad.

Thank you for coming here. We appreciate your business and hope you’ll come back soon. But do it as a tourist, as a student, as a wildlife enthusiast or sportsman. Alaska is here for you to enjoy, not haphazardly decode. Don’t hang out for a day or two and then decide you’re a state historian and demographer. Resist the urge to play armchair Tocqueville while on vacation at confirmation bias camp. It’s dishonest and a bad read. We’re not a prop.

11 Comments
  1. Gahhhh
    August 19, 2013 | Reply
  2. August 19, 2013 | Reply
  3. August 19, 2013 | Reply
  4. August 19, 2013 | Reply
  5. LadyM
    August 19, 2013 | Reply
  6. Alaskana
    August 19, 2013 | Reply
  7. Marge
    August 19, 2013 | Reply
  8. Captmatt
    August 19, 2013 | Reply
  9. August 19, 2013 | Reply
  10. Sam
    August 19, 2013 | Reply
    • August 19, 2013 | Reply

What do you think?

%d bloggers like this: